Step Toward Forgiveness

Ephesians 4:32 (NLT)

“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

Forgiveness—so important. Because where forgiveness is present, healing will follow: healing of pain and wounds deep inside, just as a song once said. Forgiveness helps you move forward; we all know that. But oh, how difficult forgiving can be. How unkind and lacking in mercy our hearts can be.

In such moments, it helps to turn our attention to Jesus and to reflect on what Hé has done to offer forgiveness to us. And now, so close to Good Friday, this is a moment to realize that again and to take a step toward forgiveness—or to take another step toward forgiveness.

The process of forgiving can be compared to peeling an onion, which has many layers. First, there are the tears that come with peeling an onion—tears that speak of the sorrow that accompanies forgiveness. Tears for what has been done to you, and tears for what you have done to others.

Then the layers. The first step toward forgiveness is like removing the first layer of the onion. But there is a good chance that unkind and unmerciful feelings and reactions will return. Maybe not—then you are a blessed person. But if they do return, it shows that another layer still needs to come off. And another. And another. Until all the layers are gone and kindness and mercy reign permanently in your relationship with the people involved.

When I took this step again this morning, I quickly realized that there was no one for whom I needed to make a first decision to forgive. But I did notice right away that more layers of the onion needed to be peeled away for several people, because I still felt anger and disappointment deep within me. I wrote down their names, decided to forgive again, and I will keep doing that until I no longer feel anger or disappointment.